Let's hear it for the Irish

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to everyone who actually celebrates it. I say "ACTUALLY" celebrate it because most of you guys use it as a “get out of jail” card to drink as much liquor as humanly possible… even though some of you crack-pots already do that on an everyday basis, but I digress. So, has anyone who reads these tried Oh Ryan’s Irish Potatoes before? I haven’t, but it’s a pretty big deal in my family (more specifically, my mom’s side of the family) to dash over to Corropolese and grab atleast two of those boxes (I’m part Irish). Apparently, It’s Coconut-filled candy with cinnamon coated on it, which probably explains why I have zero interest in eating them (I’m not a fan of Coconut flavored anything).

 Three of a Pair

It’s International Women’s Day, where we, are (hopefully) regular normal people, take the time to appreciate and study the countless amount of heroic and interesting women from throughout history. From the beginning of civilization to the current day, and that’s what this piece was based around. Nothing more, nothing less.

 She Sure Be Comin' Down the Chimney Tonight!

In our last episode of “publicly announcing how specific people control their hormones”, we questioned how many of the elves, who typically are seen working in the overly decorated sweatshop under the dictatorship of Santa Claus, might have sex unseen from their boss. Now, we’re going to discuss how Jolly o’l Saint Nick might do the deed. But, because we actually LIKE our audience, we didn’t get the actual Santa to study and instead decided to have a couple roleplay the act for us. For some reason, the lovely lady, Betty, wanted to play the role of Santa, so I guess tonight we get to study just how Mrs. Claus would have sex (This is a very weird series of posts, and I swear to God, I hope this is the last one I do of these.).

Holiday Plunder

What good would presents, most specifically, Christmas presents, do for pirates exactly. I’d imagine not much, considering most of the goods pirates plundered and raided for either keeping or trade was either newly found and hard to come by spices (which were the big money maker), certain kinds of gold if they were available and… no, that’s honestly it actually. Yeah, most pirates formed huge crews and ships, had their own special code of rules to follow and were always on everyone’s hit list… just so they can travel to another point on earth to grab a couple of items that make specific kinds of food better. They were already edible, it’s just that these spices helped make the food taste 10% better than normal. You think they have to plunder farms to obtain the food for said spices? I know they didn’t use ALL of them, considering that was the main money-maker, but you know they definitely wanted to try them out for themselves when they were bored. There’s only so many enemy ships and rough waters and there’s so much distance from point A to Point B that at some point, your bored mind would just decide “Screw it, let’s make a funny challenge out of how much cinnamon we can lick”.

Now, do these giant festively designed boxes look like they're spices? Not really at all, but Betty isn’t the sharpest buccaneer when it comes to plundering. She finds something unique and it’s ripe for the picking for her. Something her captain ain’t too keen on. Jane wouldn’t really punish Betty for that (I mean, she IS doing her job technically), but she’s more worried about what the REAL owner will do to the crew. Keep in mind, O’l Saint Nick defeated Martians and is close buddies with a being who will willingly drag your pitiful ass into an over-sewed trash bag and make sure you're seeing nothing but pure night terrors for God knows how long. Lord knows what he’ll do to those nut-heads.

A Giant Turkey...Thing

Yep… It's a big-ass giant turkey that... clearly needs some good skincare products. Either that, or he really needs to see a doctor. I don't think he's been taking his advice when it comes to dealing with his speed addiction.

Yeah, I don't usually do much for thanksgiving as you can tell. It's honestly kinda hard to do really anything centered around the holiday when the main basis for it (outside of hunting turkeys, which doesn't really work considering Tom has it brightly highlighted in his contract stating that he doesn't do that for multiple reasons) is going back to the clearly not heavily changed and filled with so many plot holes if you pick up a history book "origins of Thanksgiving", where it's just making fun of Native Americans and how "OOOH, LOOK AT HOW WEIRD AND FUNNY LOOKING THEM INDIANS AT! LOOK AT HOW STUPID THEY COMPARED TO THE AMAZING HIGH AND MIGHTY PILGRIMS! IT'S THE FUNNY RACE, KIDS!" for pages on end. I hate it! I 100% hate it! It's not funny, it's terrible, and even if it wasn't offensive, it's literally just the exact same "joke" over and over and over again with zero amounts of care or wanting to change it up. Then again, that's how I feel about most race jokes so...

So, I usually just end up completing work related to Christmas because, at least there, I can ACTUALLY DO something there. Happy Thanksgiving!

Bobbin' For Bobbleheads

Do most Halloween events still do “Bobbing for Apples” at all? I remember some fall festivals that’s organized by giant farms might have a small section for the game, but that’s honestly it. At least the worms aren’t giant. Also, the first Jak and Daxter game “The Precursor Legacy” is the best one in the series, no question (although, I will say, the 100% ending is as disappointing as you can imagine for something desperately wanting a sequel).

Oh well. Happy Halloween!

 Masquerading at The Masquerade

Halloween isn’t the ONLY time to be dressing up in goofy looking outfits that look like they were infused in water like a sponge. Masquerade balls are usually more romantic and fancier than what you would be more familiar with at a Halloween party, but it gets the job down. One fun game that’s usually played when attending these social gatherings is to disguise yourself so carefully (and yet not cheating by wearing a full-on mask) and see if anyone can guess who you are behind the Zorro mask. Betty has a slight chance at tricking her peers but… eh… yeah, Tom’s just IMPOSSIBLE to figure out. I mean, who ELSE is a 3-foot tall, tiny-feathered freak with giant tomial-buckteeth?!

 I've Got MY Crown, Cap'n!

I don’t trust a woman like Betty Boop in being a pirate. Not because I don’t believe she’s incapable of being one, actually it’s kind of the opposite. Whenever she’s written to be an actual character who doesn't just stand around and look “hot”, she can really pull out a good fight. After all, she IS someone from the deep pits of New York who just survived the notorious Roaring Twenties and now has to live through the Great Depression. She kinda HAS to learn to defend for herself in some way, otherwise she’ll either die homeless or get shot.

No, my problem is that she has a hard time focusing on more than one thing, and usually that thing is how to look as expensive and glamorous. She’ll tear a buccaneer’s chest open to keep all the treasure for herself but forgets that her boyfriend’s nearly dying cause he’s pretty much on his own. Then again, I feel like that’s part of the New Yorkian oath; “Thou shall heed help for another company unless it caters to Thou’s own personal needs and nothing more”. If any form of consideration was performed over there, Time Square would end up looking like it was frozen in time for months.

Now, surprisingly, I didn’t actually do the original layout for this. I mainly cleaned it up and inked it. That part goes to my partner, Corey C., whose penciling and craftsmanship I consider near-perfection, with how smooth and solid it looks while still maintaining its own unique look to it. Also, he’s REALLY quick with his work so I, as the good sport that I am, am always… extremely jealous towards considering how long I take to get anything done.

More info on this for some stupid reason; This was based off this one Betty Boop statue I own that’s supposed to be used as a candle holder for Halloween. This is abit of a rant, but I personally find it annoying that, for how much merchandise this girl has every year, she rarely ever has anything of her as the swashbuckling new yorkie she could easily be. Keep in mind, there’s this, there’s ONE plush of her in a captain outfit, and there’s like two table statues of her as one. OH, and there’s also that stupid bobble head that Funko did years ago that doesn't even match what she’s supposed to look like on the box. That’s it. This sounds nitpicky but she usually has like a billion versions of her usual look (Cowgirl, nurse, birthday cake, and witch) that it kinda makes it look like they’re not interested in changing it up for a day. Also yes, we both agreed to make her a dog like she used to instead of making her a human like the candle holder because Poodle Betty > Human Betty.

Treasure Deep in the Dark

You have a better chance in uncovering all kinds of treasure in caverns and caves, where they might’ve been stashed long ago and not underground where they’d be buried like some kind of time capsule, especially if you want said treasures to not be completely scratched and bruised in microseconds because of all the dirt and gravel. Even sand can easily damage what you buried if you’re not careful. But then again, the idea of pirates putting parts of their plunder somewhere that can easily be found (even self-storage units keep everything protected lock and key) confuses the hell out of any historian.

But The Piracy Pimples aren’t real pirates. They’re fictional non-real characters that usually follow what the script or outline of a script tells them to do with all of their backdrops being completely drawn for them to interact in. So of course, the booty’s completely polished and untouched. They can literally hand that treasure chest over to PCGS and they’ll see a perfect rating on its report card with a quickly drawn smiley face on the top. Chef’s kiss.

An Eagle Out for The Game

 Football season has reached out onto the playing field once again, and everyone (or those who actually care for the sport) is cheering on their favorite teams. Rather it be paying a boat-load of merch-

andise (that’ll either gather dust around their house if they go all out and win the super bowl or be burned completely that’ll be slightly mistaken for a forest fire if they make a slight mistake out in one of the games), betting all of their life savings into if they actually make it onto the super bowl, or it being yet ANOTHER excuse for people who clearly need to join a group of alcoholics anonymous members and raiding their local bar and gurgling down as much blandly-tasting beer cans as they can before they end up in a hospital. Fun!

Anyways, I’m not a sports person, I just draw whatever I feel like, and if it so happens to cross paths for a sport, especially if a big game like football comes in, then I know for sure Tom’s willing to be dragged into it for me (Unless it’s him participating in playing with the Cleveland Indians because there ain’t NO WAY I’m drawing Tom in redface).

Note to self; invest in either an ACTUAL good scanner or Neon Yellow markers that doesn't fade away when scanned.

 A Little Push for a Quick Dive

As the final weeks of the warm season come approaching, everyone tries to scratch off their final itch to go swimming. Now, of course, a good amount of people (usually either more careless mid-teenagers or insane people; you know exactly who I’m talking about) prefer to spice up their water aerobics session by skipping the left turn where the beach is and to make a sharp right turn over to… the nearest cliff.

Completely isolated, unsupervised, without a single eye in sight. Though, there are the occasional small school of fish swimming around the bends of the sharp rocks that's poking out of the blankets of water. There’s also the rare flock of birds, refilling their free subscription of Liveleak as they get a crisp clean view of the next new idiot who decides it’s a good idea to bungee jump something that couldn’t be more of a death zone even if it wasn’t trying to (Mother Nature forms her earth the way she decides, though it could be argued she makes a game out of it and does her spells blindfolded). Or even worse and more often the case, the victim of intense peer-pressureing by the group of Fair-weathered “friends”. Sure, they’re chant for the kid to dive right in, but there ain’t no way from Hell and back they're gonna pay for the huge hospital bill after all of the surgeries.

Of course, Tom isn’t that type of guy. He just likes to have fun… while not fully knowing the outcome of what’s about to come. Betty knows Tom like a book and loves him to death, but even she can agree Tom can be the handful sometimes. Tom doesn't have to worry about any hospital bills, but he may have to worry about Betty beating his ass when she climbs back up the cliff. A perfect life-lesson lol.

 Red, White and Blue All Over

There have been many stories around the Revolutionary War, one of the most important roles in forming the United States of America to make it the way it is in the modern era (for better or worse depending on your point of view). The many members of the war between red and blue, like any battle or war, have their own horror stories on their experiences out at war. Some longer than others, and some with either a depressing ending or a… slightly depressing ending (again, depending on how you feel). Even the mascot of Great Britain, the brave and mighty lion, the very one titled “king of the beasts”, has his own nightmares he tells his therapist on the weekends. Take a WILD guess as to who’s to blame?!

Now, this isn't THE trio of rubbery donuts we all know and… hopefully know. These are some of their many ancestors. Three of the many soldiers and civilians ready to help up their friends in need and defeat the multiple numbers of oncoming enemies.

Now I will admit, this isn't the BEST piece of mine. Using pencil and erasing on thick cardboard-like watercolor paper is like a strong mixture of raw gasoline and a lit Duck match. The areas I erased ended up becoming slightly torn and messy, so I had to go from wanting to do traditional art to digital art. Because of this, some of the actual linework on the layouts were abit off, forcing the digital linework to be altered in order to savage the piece before the 4th of July holiday. So… my bad on this one lol

 Graduation Day

To a hard-working lad, Graduation Day is one of, if not, THE most important day of their life. To finally be recognized for the years of archiving high grades, for studying for all of the tests, quizzes, pop quizzes, and side questions that have to be completed in order for you to leave the classroom (yes, this happened to me multiple times before). To be celebrated for surviving the ending amounts of trial-and-error games when it comes to friendships, bullies and… Just a bunch more bullies that you find out in 7 years were talking shit about you behind your back because they were so bored in their life that they decided to spend the days testing every bit of patience you have (This is slowly just turning into me ranting about my own personal school life).

The point is that, for the folks who have earned that literal $10 piece of paper that says you actually passed school, it’s a day to pat yourself on the back on a job well done. Just be lucky you didn’t have to file for bankruptcy just to even get your textbooks (That’s for next year). But that’s for another story.

Some Short-Cuts to Life 

It may come as a surprise to some, but there are lots of people who graduate for an event BESIDES high school and college. It could be a celebration of finally passing that final challenge to enter a club, a moment of glory for years of hard work at an establishment who owed you due to say thanks for all your help, or this specific flapper’s case, a shock that she ACTUALLY did something to prove that she deserves to be a top star of her own series of shorts.

Considering 95% of the time, all she usually does is either stand around and show off how ”””sexy””” she is, sing a 30 second tune which isn't new considering everyone around her has that skill and her performances are at the bottom of the tier list, or, despite being the star of a long line of shorts aimed to be comedic, she shockingly is terrible at bringing in any kind of material or even react and really interact to outside comedy. So, thank God she didn’t cheat her way into archiving the award. 

This was done for one of my top artists and closest friends, who happened to finally graduate high school. That’s pretty much that.

Welcome Aboard!

Hello there and a mighty welcome aboard to everyone who decided to take a trip down the mind of… well, me ofc. 

I  hope that everyone who comes over has a pleasant time either scanning through the many pieces of craftsmanship in the art gallery, wants to laugh at the newest comics (which at this moment should be updated sometime soon), or to be amazed at the insanity of stories, Mainly featuring the funny mice and ducks that get blamed for the horrors that is recent Star Wars projects, all across the globe.

As always, if you like anything you see and would like to express either your likes or dislikes on something, Comments are 100% welcomed (unless they’re spam comments)

Have fun!