Carpenter Out at Sea

If you’re expecting an overly long backstory behind not one, but TWO art pieces, You’re at the wrong post. These were mainly done as gifts for one of my closest friends (and my main partner in the art department), Corey. The idea was pretty simple; what would she look like in a nautical setting and what type of outfit would fit her the most.

There’s two sides of the coin here; One being her

in the rough seas setting as a pirate captain. Why would she be looking for

very specific records, one may ask? Simple, because they’re extremely rare and both of us (Especially when it comes to rare takes of Billy Murray recordings, since that’s a personal favorite for her) actively love finding them. When drawing this, it dawned on me that finding “sexy pirate” attire is WAY more harder to track down for references than one might think.

The other side is the more common sailor look, with more of a loose and open look to her compared to the usual kind of sailor pinup designs that’s usually out there. That and Corey came up with the goofy ass melody here and I found it funny as well.

The Sailor's Summer Jig

There’s nothing Betty loves more during the warmer period of the year than by playing on her ol' Squeezebox and striking a few chords to play some sea shanties for anyone on the ship. The trouble is, most of the swabs aboard end up calling her “The Pied Piper of The Sea” for how the only ones on deck alive who actually performs the Jitterbug to her music are the rats. Atleast SOMEBODY finds her wrong note playing listenable.

Patriotic Cherry-Blasters

Another Fourth of July has upon us once again, and once again on the Fourth of July, Tom proves himself to everyone around the entire state that he can NOT celebrate a holiday like a normal person. He can’t just go get some meat and slab it on the grill with some spices and BBQ sauce or fold out the old lawn-chair and watch the fireworks the Norristown Fire Department on the other side of town grabbed from Shoprite. No, he HAS to go find the best kind of fireworks to light up himself; illegally imported firecrackers with multiple kinds of gun powder that’s been banned in multiple countries which has been painfully put together by heavily overworked and underpaid Chinese sweatshop workers. Has this worked in his favor before? Absolutely not! He’s nearly burned down multiple different neighborhoods one year. But that doesn't discourage our hyperactive roadrunner creature… even if he REALLY should be. Both for his safety and everyone else's.

 Billy Jenkins and Betty Jones

I’m not sure if I've ever mentioned it (or atleast as often as I think I might’ve) here, but I’m a huge record nut. I collect records, I bid and buy records on ebay, I study all different kinds of labels, companies, bands and their vocal artists, and even the size and material of them. More specifically, I love 78rpm records. There’s just something so fascinating about the kind of music those discs can give out once again. It’s a lost art that’s nearly impossible to fully recreate. Even with the same kind of instruments and technical techniques one might’ve used back then, it still never quite matches that kind of sound records from around 1905-1940 can produce. Though, one key factor as to why could be because some artists are completely unique compared to many of today, especially when it comes to Vocal artists. Two that come to my mind (although usually as a duo even though they’re more well-known for their own separate solo performances) are Billy Murray and Ada Jones. Both of them (especially Murray) have a kind of singing voice that’s so completely his own. It gives off a very chipper early 20s bachelor who barely goes out for drinks but still would be caught walking out in town with a nicely tailored sweater. Then again, some of that is true according to many reports on his private daily life, so that’ll do it.

This piece specifically was done for one of my main partners and closest friends, Corey, who’s just as much of a Billy-nut as I am (although I’m gonna be honest, considering alot of the information I know about the chap comes from Corey, He’s the bigger fan compared to me).

 This Looks Quite Well on Me, Dear!

Yes, I was pretty much gone from this site for like a couple of months. What was I doing all this time, you may be asking? Nothing I WANTED to do but stuff I HAD to do. Life got in the way and alot of my spark for typing and posting stuff on this site had sadly dried up alittle, but that’s honestly the price I have to pay for wanting to post whatever I want, how I want it, and without any kind of Cropping or AI slop getting in the way. It’s a double-edge sword, if you will. But the most I can say is I’m still active and I’ll still be posting stuff here whenever I can.

Now, what has Tom and Betty been up to for the last couple of months while I’ve been away? Well, I’m gonna be quite honest with you, I can’t even tell myself half the time. I can never tell if it’s some kind of freaky-ass kinky role-play, some kind of hardcore Truth or Dare match, or just something they felt like doing one day for absolutely no reason at all. I know this because I’d ask them why and they'd just say “I don’t know. Because I felt like it?”. The fuck you mean you FELT like it?!

Let's hear it for the Irish

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to everyone who actually celebrates it. I say "ACTUALLY" celebrate it because most of you guys use it as a “get out of jail” card to drink as much liquor as humanly possible… even though some of you crack-pots already do that on an everyday basis, but I digress. So, has anyone who reads these tried Oh Ryan’s Irish Potatoes before? I haven’t, but it’s a pretty big deal in my family (more specifically, my mom’s side of the family) to dash over to Corropolese and grab atleast two of those boxes (I’m part Irish). Apparently, It’s Coconut-filled candy with cinnamon coated on it, which probably explains why I have zero interest in eating them (I’m not a fan of Coconut flavored anything).

 Three of a Pair

It’s International Women’s Day, where we, are (hopefully) regular normal people, take the time to appreciate and study the countless amount of heroic and interesting women from throughout history. From the beginning of civilization to the current day, and that’s what this piece was based around. Nothing more, nothing less.

The Beagle Boys; Cosmic Con-Trick (1988)

Synopsis: In order to rob the bank without being spotted by streetlight, The Beagle Boys trick everyone in Duckburg into thinking a never-before seen comet will pass by that night, but the town must be blacked-out first in order to see it.

Cosmic Contrick (D 9118) | I.N.D.U.C.K.S.

“Cosmic Con-trick” (Which is a very stupid name that’s not even spelled correctly on Inducks), if one of the many hundreds of comic stories that not only feature Scrooge’s #1 worry, The Beagle Boys, but also makes them the main characters of the story. While this does sound like something completely unique to Europe, with how much they heavily adore any of the characters Carl Barks created, this was actually originally done first in America. When Western Publishing’s comic book division was now under Gold Key, they started new different comic book series and spinoffs to get as many kids’ attention as they could. While I argue that Looney Tunes had the biggest amount of these (why in god’s green name is one of the spin-off series of issues “Daffy Duck and The Roadrunner”), Disney was no stranger to these, with The Beagle Boys having a good amount of solo issues to their name. When places like Italy and Denmark slowly got ahold of these stories, naturally, they figured it would be cool to create their own solo Beagle Boys stories. That’s where this story comes in, as the only characters presented here are the titular criminals. No ducks, ganders, chickens or geese present.

As for this story itself, It’s alright. Xavier Vives Mateu is the artist behind this one, who originally started out doing mostly nothing but stories and front covers of the Beagle Boys for a couple of years in the late 80s. His artstyle, while nothing completely unique or different compared to most of the other solid duck artists in Denmark, still is very clean, solid and expressive with just the amount of detail on the characters to make them fully formed. The actual story itself is… fine. I’m not sure why they thought that the entire Duckburg police squad would stand around watching comets and not be on the lookout for the same exact criminals that always pull off some crazy heist, get arrested, get out and then repeat the never-ending cycle. Then again, they keep letting these guys OUT of jail every single time they try to steal something, so they probably just like going after them like if they’re all playing a game of Cops-and-Robbers. I mean, their biggest worry is an insanely hot-tempered Duck who can’t hold a job for a single day without burning half the town down in the process, so The Beagle Boys are probably alot easier to handle for the police.

Everyone in Duckburg must have no worries in life if a literal firework shop, with uncovered and unprotected loaded rockets and missiles no less, has their empty store door unlocked and completely wide-open. Either they ain't making any kind of cash or they just legit do not care. I'm going with the latter.

I don't know why but an official Disney comic ending with one of it's characters having massive stomach pains and implying that he's gonna have the runs later is so oddly gross, it's fascinating to me.

Cupids at Work

Happy Valentine's Day to anyone who partakes in anything related to the old holiday. I, myself, do not.

Betty forgetting that she can’t just walk around completely bare topless like a mis-managed rugrat doesn't really shock Tom at all. He’s just more annoyed at the fact that his one and only real chance of being able to fly got ripped away from him (quite literally). But hey, He'll do anything to make his girl happy, which is the most anyone can do for their partner in this special occasion.

 Cheers to Another Year of Romance

I would say “Don’t act like Jr. here on Valentine’s Day”, but my single A double-S would honestly have the same thoughts around people who are already in a relationship. I just wouldn’t say it out loud in front of their faces of course.

Ice-Ball

The idea of this sketch came in the wake of the upcoming addition to the Super-Bowl. I will say, for this year’s edition, I’m NOT paying for it personally, considering I don’t see a green eagle anywhere in that field! One of my partners, Hunter, gave me the suggestion of using Pepsi’s 2018 Super-Bowl ad with the added bonus of making sure the opposite opponent of the kickoff is the Dallas Cowboys (and honestly, who can blame them. Most of what I hear from that team is complete trash lol).

Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella

I think nothing is better in life than knowing who you can always trust; who your friends are. If you ever feel upset or distressed about something, you can always count on your closest friends by your side to talk about what’s been bothering you. I can tell you from multiple different experiences of mine that the best kind of friends you can ever have are the ones who like being with you. They don’t have to say hi all day around the clock of course (sometimes, it’s nice to just sit down and relax), but them talking to you and enjoying your company is all you need to know that you got a keep by your side. That’s why I personally love being with people who, not only are some of my partners for the artwork shown here and especially in the future, but whom I also consider my closest friends. We can always trust each other with anything and, well, they’re just very sweet people to be around.

*Also, side note, but drawing raincoat hats is a complete nightmare for me. I can never tell how to start it and how to make it look like what it's supposed to be.*

 Deep In the Snowstorm

Since it’s late-January, that means that Mother Nature's in the mood for some fresh shaved ice for… some reason. I have no idea why she decides to do near the end of Winter and not during the beginning of Winter like how it should be, especially since most of the frozen water pellets decides to pour down areas like the Midwestern region in the ass-crack of November and then decide to take their sweet time to rain hard ice in areas like the northeastern region as early as late-January or as late as mid-February. Like a scared child doing everything he can NOT to study for the PSSAs because even though he KNOWS it’s coming and he’s gonna have to study for it, he just doesn't feel like it and would rather do literally anything else. The end result is the same here; completely confused.

Not helping is that when she does "accidentally” spill out her bowls of vanilla ice cream onto the floor (i.e. the EARTH), it ends up becoming a full-blown snowstorm. Complete with hectic winds, nearly sharp hail and folded layers of clear white snow blankets that reach over 2 ft in length. It becomes nearly impossible not only for us people to move around properly, but also for the many pets of mother nature to navigate for food and shelter. And when they can’t find said food and shelter, they get angry. VERY angry. Although, provoking said VERY angry animals doesn't help much. Hence, picture above.

Frozen Gold

Just because “Treasure Island" invented and started the notion that pirates bury their treasure chests on tropical islands (more specifically, during the warm summer season when Mother Nature turns the dial on her smart thermostat to exactly 74 degrees), that doesn't mean that’s the ONLY way to do it. Some do it during the slightly warm but still nippy spring season, when the most dangerous thing protecting the loot is your pollen allergies unexpectedly kicking (then again, that honestly would be WORSE than being devoured by the kraken for me considering how AWFUL my allergies are). There’s also the complete and utter nutcases who decide it’s a great idea to go out when Jack Frost is at his busiest. The ocean is nearly nothing but a hard sheet of ice, snowflakes falling from the sky quickly become snow-BALLS being chucked down like cannon balls, Hail, which is the equivalent of knives being sling-shot like children messing around with bows and arrows, and the entire island is completely coated from top to bottom with snow. 8 feet of heavy hard snow. But, you know, Lotta and Betty love treasure (more specifically, Betty) and Jade can’t say no to her two only crew members. She’s a good sport despite the consistent annoyed look on her face. So, Land Ho! Impossibly hard to navigate ice island ahoy!

 The Snowball Defect

Point tip for anyone who’s been interested in skiing while visiting a mountain resort; If you ever see two yellow-feathered bird humanoid things (one tall and bright yellow and one short and regular yellow to be exact), Do yourself the biggest favor and get the HELL out of there, refunded or not. Even if you had to pay a good amount for your stay, it’s not worth it. Both in terms of being unable to pay for the hospital bills and just being around Tom and Tom Jr. overall. Wherever they go, complete and utter uncontrollable chaos follows just a few inches behind. Jade, though, just completely accepts that fact, especially since her friend is Tom's girlfriend.

And He's Out!

That Betty Jenkins sure can hit, alright. Got a mighty fine punch to her! She don’t need no Magic Punch, Spike. She, herself, is very powerful! As powerful as a fucking Megaflash!

I don't really have anything specific to say about alot of my older pieces, as for most of these, I just kinda... drew them and... yeah no, That's honestly about it.

December 32nd?!

Happy New Year with a lovely dose of post-Christmas carolers singing “Auld Lang Syne” in front of the One Times Square Building! Everyone! I hope everyone who reads these posts has made their new year's resolutions and hopefully plans to stick to it after February. I hope everyone is with their loved ones, rather it be with family, friends or that weird guy with the very long beard who smokes camels next to the shut-down check cashing service building. But most of all, I VERY hope everyone’s calendars show the correct date of January 1st and not whatever wicked date the nutballs here have.

 Donald Duck and The Tropical New Year (1955)

Synopsis: Donald and the boys are tasked by Scrooge to deliver crates of swimwear over to Buenos Aires as their “Christmas present”, but the Beagle Boys think they’re actually shipping gold instead.

Topolino e il capodanno tropicale (I AO 54053-A) | I.N.D.U.C.K.S.

Happy New Year, folks. I’d Figured you'd like to see one of the earliest foreign Disney comics that's… somewhat about the new year.
"Topolino e il capodanno tropicale" is another kooky, one-of-a-kind, CLEARLY would never be released in the west without heavy amounts of that Disney “Family-Friendly agenda” censorship, Guido Martina specialty. The story has the usual kind of “What the Hell” writing you typically would get from Martina, right down to the title! Yes, in the original printing of this story, they accidentally wrote in Mickey’s name, Topolino, as the titular character instead of Donald, Paperino, and NOBODY double checked before release. Somebody must’ve noticed because the title was correctly fixed… in 1979. When it was censored in its own country. A double edge sword kind-of wish, I suppose.
Being drawn by Italian cartoonist legend Luciano Bottaro, it highlights some of his own special artistic trademarks. A pretty good example during this time period is how the black steam above angry or annoyed characters is alot more thicker, looking more like a deflated speech balloon. The character acting in this isn’t the more crazy expressive but it also isn’t poorly stiff and awkward. It’s a nice middle between some very fine solid layouts with poses that’s just good to easily register how a character is feeling, so the dialogue actually connects with what’s happening below the text.

So, Donald is a complete dickhead in the beginning of this for literally no reason and it's worse because it could be removed and nothing would change. I do understand what they’re going for. The idea of Donald being so completely sick of the cold winter that he snaps and gets angry at the holiday, since he feels like he’s the only one suffering while everyone else is super happy. The problem is that it quite literally goes nowhere after Scrooge calls him over for his “gift”. When Donald and the kids arrive to see Scrooge, he never mentions his disdain for the winter or his frustrations with the holidays again. I guess Guido wanted a reason for you not to feel bad for the duck at the end, but I honestly just felt bad for the nephews. They wanted to have a nice Christmas and now they're stuck on the south pole for new year's. Then again, maybe Donald's an asshole because he inherited it from his dirtbag uncle, who literally tricks him and the kids into trading cargo over to one of his clients. That’s already a dick move, but what makes it worse is that he KNOWS full-on well that criminals are going to think they’re trading cash and not what’s actually in the crates. If Donald and the kids get killed because robbers think they’re trading actual goods, at least it wasn’t the funny rich duck, I guess. (I say this because, both in this story as well as other stories, The Beagle Boys are treated more like an actual threat then the goofy robbers most comics after the 60s usually portrayed them as).

Special thanks to the Guido Martina Facebook group for this clean scan (even if I had to do ALOT of cleanup).

What kind of global warming do they have in Duckburg where none of the seasons are acting like how they should be? I think there's a bigger problem here, just not what Donald thinks it is.

The all-American way of celebrating the holidays... least that's honestly how I wish it should be, especially with the prices these days.

So, Meccano is a real European toy brand that still actually exists. They're pretty much Mechanical toy sets that you can build toy robots and cars out of, so I understand the hype for one. My question is why did they randomly name drop a real brand in this? It's not something they do surprisingly.

How the fuck does Scrooge know these people and why does he keep sending kindergarteners over there to deal with it??

And Goodbye Scroogie because he NEVER shows back up again in this story. He pretty much puts targets behind his nephews' backs and gets zero punishment for it. Hey Marley, I think he needs another good scare or two tonight.

It's canon that Donald has served in the Navy at least a couple of times, especially during WW2. So, him feeling more natural out at sea is more understandable compared to the nephews being here. Guess Donald wants his nephews to be ex-sailors just like him. Not... the best idea considering how he canonly has tons of night-terrors.

I hope Scrooge actually gave stored fresh crackers and beans in the ship at the very least. I do love the detailed close-up of the tin can, which (unless it's a Sunday newspaper strip) wasn't that common for Disney comics this early.

It took these idiots a week to realize that they can fish while they're on a ship? Maybe they're used to going on cruise ships that ACTUALLY enforces their rules lol

Hey look, the robbers are very angry that they wasted their time thinking they were chasing goods that they wanted and are now taking it out on the unknowing crew. It's almost like this was a very stupid STUPID plan, right SCROOGE?!!?

I... feel like there was a page missing. You know, there should've been a scene where the storm is about to strike the ship, so the climax can fully unfold. I'm guessing they realized that they were running out of pages. Good thing the 3-4 pages of Donald having a fit at home was written in, because it CLEARLY was needed to the story.

"Who Remembered the Naphtha?" uh... You should've considering it was YOUR idea, you stupid idiot!