A Giant Turkey...Thing

Yep… It's a big-ass giant turkey that... clearly needs some good skincare products. Either that, or he really needs to see a doctor. I don't think he's been taking his advice when it comes to dealing with his speed addiction.

Yeah, I don't usually do much for thanksgiving as you can tell. It's honestly kinda hard to do really anything centered around the holiday when the main basis for it (outside of hunting turkeys, which doesn't really work considering Tom has it brightly highlighted in his contract stating that he doesn't do that for multiple reasons) is going back to the clearly not heavily changed and filled with so many plot holes if you pick up a history book "origins of Thanksgiving", where it's just making fun of Native Americans and how "OOOH, LOOK AT HOW WEIRD AND FUNNY LOOKING THEM INDIANS AT! LOOK AT HOW STUPID THEY COMPARED TO THE AMAZING HIGH AND MIGHTY PILGRIMS! IT'S THE FUNNY RACE, KIDS!" for pages on end. I hate it! I 100% hate it! It's not funny, it's terrible, and even if it wasn't offensive, it's literally just the exact same "joke" over and over and over again with zero amounts of care or wanting to change it up. Then again, that's how I feel about most race jokes so...

So, I usually just end up completing work related to Christmas because, at least there, I can ACTUALLY DO something there. Happy Thanksgiving!

Morty and Ferdie; The Big Clean-up (1975)

Synopsis: Morty and Ferdie have to get all of the leaves off the front yard, so Mickey can take them to the zoo.

The Big Clean-up (S 73249) | I.N.D.U.C.K.S.

“The Big Clean-up” is one of hundreds of stories that were originally written and/or drawn in America but had no omission to be released IN America. This was all part of the Walt Disney Studio Program. This was literally made because Europe and most likely Brazil complained to Western publishing (which, at this time, had their comic books under the Gold Key brand) that they straight up ran out of American stories, and since this was before they were actively making their own foreign stories, they pretty much demanded that they could get brand new stories. So, a good chunk of writers and artists were in charge of filling in the new demand, which I could only imagine must’ve been a total nightmare, especially knowing how Disney would pay their comic writers and artists (spoilers: it ain’t that high).

Because these were mainly made as a side project behind the main stories for Gold Key’s issues, alot of these are usually very short, they’re not as detailed or would have as many more unique poses as you would usually see, and alot of these step out of the usual Donald, Mickey and Scrooge stories, and instead, would now give the more smaller and side-characters the starlight (for better or worse, depending on the story).

This short story is about Mickey’s nephews; Morty and Ferdie. That’s about it. It’s a cute story, but you can tell by this point in time, they were forced to tone things down in order to make the comic books more “presentable” to kids (or more realistically, their very strict parents who’ll complain about literally anything). Also, with alot of these S-code stories, if not done by Tony Strobl, Jack Bradbury, Dick Kinney or Al Hubbard, you’re shit out of luck when it comes to knowing who knows what. Alot of funny animal American comics during this time never credited anyone, and with these being shuffled around to different countries, it makes it way extra harder.

Good job kids. Now, Mickey's gonna get his street rat ass beaten when you guys come back lol.

Donald Duck and The Ostrich Eggs (1953)

Synopsis: Donald and the nephews are stuck with hundreds of ostrich eggs and have to figure out a way to get rid of them.

Paperino e le uova di struzzo (I AO 53032-A) | I.N.D.U.C.K.S.

A good amount of the first stories done solely in Italy were published not for the Topolino digests, but for the “Albi d’oro” issues, which would later become “Almanacco Topolino”. These were pretty much just very small magazines that usually had a 25-30 pager story and a quick 1-2 pager, and that’s where this story comes in.

"Paperino e le uova di struzzo" is known for two things. It’s one of the earliest stories not only from the Albi d’oro line, coming out in the summer of 1953, but also from Italy as a whole as there wasn't that many original Disney stories done by this point. It’s also one of the most batshit insane stories ever written officially for the Disney comics. Nothing in this comic makes any sense at all, logically nor illogically, as alot of the things that happen just kinda… happen just because. Not because "the plot demands it" as you would think, but just because Guido Martina wanted to pen it up. Floor polish being made solely out of raw egg yolk and also actually working as floor polish, a giant hornet doctor whose name is a pun of "Holy Mackerel" as I gathered from the original Italian text, Scrooge gets solid gold coins inserted into him like a flu shot injection, said solid gold coins bounce around inside of him, and then ends up getting them removed using a magnet, Scrooge nearly dies from accidentally consuming bleach because the egg yolk barrels and the floor polish were stored together, a character who looks like Clara Cluck but isn't Clara Cluck and has a completely different name compared to Clara's actual Italian name (it's just Clara), the boys do something 100% dickish to Donald for zero reason and he doesn't beat their asses compared to when the boys annoy him by accident. It’s all here with the added bonus of the layouts and speech bubbles being squeezed inside the very small panels, making it very hard to make sure the translations are readable.

Special thanks again to the Guido Martina Facebook group for the original scans and with an additional rare illustration to it (I’m not exactly sure where it comes from). The source of the actual pages used here comes from the 16th issue of the 2nd version of I Grandi Classici Disney since it actually bothered to color in ALL the pages (alot of the early Italian books would only color in the pages every 2 pages). I will say they did a bad job at coloring in the pages considering this was a total nightmare to clean up, but I guess I should count my blessings I was able to find these early stories at all.

Bootleg Clara Cluck

So, while translating this story, I ended up finding out that people actually buy and cook Ostrich eggs. In this, I learned three things, this just taste like regular Hen eggs, they're way bigger than you think they are, and they are messier than a homemade slime kit. There's no way in hell those things aren't making your floors sticky.

I do love how one of the three pigs is just... there. You're telling me he DOES have the money for supplies, but he just up decides to use sticks for his house?! I can't tell if he's much of a lazy slob, that much of a dumbass or that much of both.

I'm gonna be real, I have no idea what Donald thought was gonna happen. Then again, this is pretty early on in their relationship, so I'll give him a slight pass.

Dr. Hornet Mackerel in Kingdom Hearts, Thank you.

Now, can someone come in front of the class and answer why did it have to be a rectal injection. That doctor ain't right in the head.

I do love how this is drawn if I'm gonna be honest. It's probably the best layout in this whole story and it's not even in the damn comic.

Pretty solid layout of Donald dashing down the basement stairs. Also, the idea of Donald in a straitjacket is funny to me lol.

See, Donald, this is EXACTLY why you can't always trust that mouse! He made his magic tricks look super easy to perform at home. 

When I first saw this before translating it, I honestly thought they were standing in a river of water... now it just looks like a rough Ren & Stimpy parody storyboard lol

Wait, Hold up! Did the truck driver just... leave his truck behind? don... don't you have like... other things to carry out or something?

I'm not even gonna question how those even came OUT of him. Also, Donald, you do know that all of that money you got from Scrooge is just gonna go straight to the truck driver who's still waiting for you to pay him. I have no idea why the boys thought this was a good plan in the first place. Also, you kids are damn lucky he can actually pay him back and he got rid of the eggs easily, cause otherwise, Donald 100% would've beaten your asses with a metal switch. Also again, Mr. hornet doctor thing; that is not tongs, that's a magnet.... you're an idiot...

Scrooge nearly killing himself because he consumed cleaning products IS a very non-Disney way to end this story and I'm 100% all here for it.

Bobbin' For Bobbleheads

Do most Halloween events still do “Bobbing for Apples” at all? I remember some fall festivals that’s organized by giant farms might have a small section for the game, but that’s honestly it. At least the worms aren’t giant. Also, the first Jak and Daxter game “The Precursor Legacy” is the best one in the series, no question (although, I will say, the 100% ending is as disappointing as you can imagine for something desperately wanting a sequel).

Oh well. Happy Halloween!

 Masquerading at The Masquerade

Halloween isn’t the ONLY time to be dressing up in goofy looking outfits that look like they were infused in water like a sponge. Masquerade balls are usually more romantic and fancier than what you would be more familiar with at a Halloween party, but it gets the job down. One fun game that’s usually played when attending these social gatherings is to disguise yourself so carefully (and yet not cheating by wearing a full-on mask) and see if anyone can guess who you are behind the Zorro mask. Betty has a slight chance at tricking her peers but… eh… yeah, Tom’s just IMPOSSIBLE to figure out. I mean, who ELSE is a 3-foot tall, tiny-feathered freak with giant tomial-buckteeth?!

Bettin' on The Costume

Halloween’s coming, and with that comes all kinds of fun costume parties and contests. Now, if there’s anyone who desires first prize metals for looking good in a goofy looking outfit, you know it’s Betty. But what to choose… what to choose. I’ll let that up to you, but let’s chart down the ideas floating around in her mind.

Well, Cat Betty’s out of the question, especially since she likes to be in-character and I DON’T trust her with ultra-fine pointed sharp nails. Being an M&M’s kinda cute on her, but only if she doesn't mind the very cheap material used. Then again, it honestly might not fit her (or at least, it’ll be pretty uncomfortable doing anything in it). Why an M&M specifically? Because I had a very cheap printed-on yellow peanut M&M costume for about a year or two when I was like 9. Western Betty’s a solid choice, but She might have to check in on Lotta to make sure they don’t twin at the gathering. If Betty becomes a Cop, everyone’s dead (and it has nothing to do with race if you’re wondering). Betty’s a pirate like every two days, so it's the most predictable option out there for her. However, dressing up specifically as her late ancestor, Cutthroat Betty, might give her a tiny pass there. Betty as Charlie Brown really only works when you remember she’s bald (Charlie Brown has very light hair, I know, shut up. Plus, she really IS bald due to a high school science experiment). I actually had that idea of Betty dressed up as the blockhead for way longer than you think, so I knew it was time to finally make SOMETHING out of it. Zombie Betty’s pretty sick if you ask me, but God, let’s hope she can easily get herself cleaned up afterwards.

 Mickey Mouse; Mickey Vs. The Master of The World (1985)

Synopsis: A special stone grants The Phantom Blot the power to become enormous, and it’s up to Mickey and Goofy to reduce his newly gained power.

Mickey contre le maître du monde (F JM 85136) | I.N.D.U.C.K.S.

“Mickey contre le maître du monde” isn’t the best story to read if you have Arachnophobia (as one of the main plot points in the comic centers around a giant spider), but it is a great story to read that kinda gives off halloween vibes but also can be viewed as just a regular Mickey story. It ALSO comes to us from France, and it’s here that we get another unique panel layout than most of the usual Disney comics. Comics that were originally made in France are formatted in a way that still has 4 rows of panels, but unlike others where each row would have 2 panels, France decided to bulk it up alittle and make it 3 panels per row, thus increasing the normal number of panels a page from 8 to 12. This can often make the story either very complex or very crammed, depending on who the artist is. Thankfully, this story’s the former.

So, this is one of hundreds of Mickey stories that puts him and his main…friend...ish?, Goofy, in a mystery that usually climaxes or ends with Mickey solving the puzzle out. This series of kinda detectives Mickey and Goofy comics originally started when our villain of today’s story first appeared; 1939's “Mickey Mouse Outwits the Phantom Blot”. An epic action-packed mystery that Floyd Gottfredson helped paved the way for… slightly less epic action-packed mysteries. So that’s why you have Mickey and Goofy alongside the local police tracking down criminals across their city, Mouseton (yes, both he and Donald live in different towns in the comics, and Yes, Mouseton is a more stupid name for a city than Duckburg).

As for this particular story, it’s alright. I do like how Goofy ISN’T causing nothing but problems for Mickey on their adventure for once (spoilers; that’s gonna be an ongoing thing in these stories). The layouts are solid all throughout and having more than one action scene in this is very cool to see considering it being a 10-pager. Although, I will say, you’d think at this point they would have locked the Blot up in a more protected prison or something, if he keeps escaping to perform his multiple acts of crime.

"Goofy, I know there's this big ass Spider web in the middle of nowhere, but I think you were just dreaming about the big ass spider in question." Then again, the police ACTUALLY trying to investigate is more unbelieve then the spider who belongs in Australia.

Blot, I don't know how you STILL can't figure out how Mickey defeats you if a cage made of slightly thicker popsicle sticks is the toughest container you can put the fancy-dressed mouse in.

Why... are you terrified of a different giant spider if you JUST saw one last night? I don't think your brain grew alongside your body, buddy.