Austin J. Jenkins

Donald Duck and The Ostrich Eggs (1953)

Synopsis: Donald and the nephews are stuck with hundreds of ostrich eggs and have to figure out a way to get rid of them.

Paperino e le uova di struzzo (I AO 53032-A) | I.N.D.U.C.K.S.

A good amount of the first stories done solely in Italy were published not for the Topolino digests, but for the “Albi d’oro” issues, which would later become “Almanacco Topolino”. These were pretty much just very small magazines that usually had a 25-30 pager story and a quick 1-2 pager, and that’s where this story comes in.

"Paperino e le uova di struzzo" is known for two things. It’s one of the earliest stories not only from the Albi d’oro line, coming out in the summer of 1953, but also from Italy as a whole as there wasn't that many original Disney stories done by this point. It’s also one of the most batshit insane stories ever written officially for the Disney comics. Nothing in this comic makes any sense at all, logically nor illogically, as alot of the things that happen just kinda… happen just because. Not because "the plot demands it" as you would think, but just because Guido Martina wanted to pen it up. Floor polish being made solely out of raw egg yolk and also actually working as floor polish, a giant hornet doctor whose name is a pun of "Holy Mackerel" as I gathered from the original Italian text, Scrooge gets solid gold coins inserted into him like a flu shot injection, said solid gold coins bounce around inside of him, and then ends up getting them removed using a magnet, Scrooge nearly dies from accidentally consuming bleach because the egg yolk barrels and the floor polish were stored together, a character who looks like Clara Cluck but isn't Clara Cluck and has a completely different name compared to Clara's actual Italian name (it's just Clara), the boys do something 100% dickish to Donald for zero reason and he doesn't beat their asses compared to when the boys annoy him by accident. It’s all here with the added bonus of the layouts and speech bubbles being squeezed inside the very small panels, making it very hard to make sure the translations are readable.

Special thanks again to the Guido Martina Facebook group for the original scans and with an additional rare illustration to it (I’m not exactly sure where it comes from). The source of the actual pages used here comes from the 16th issue of the 2nd version of I Grandi Classici Disney since it actually bothered to color in ALL the pages (alot of the early Italian books would only color in the pages every 2 pages). I will say they did a bad job at coloring in the pages considering this was a total nightmare to clean up, but I guess I should count my blessings I was able to find these early stories at all.

Bootleg Clara Cluck

So, while translating this story, I ended up finding out that people actually buy and cook Ostrich eggs. In this, I learned three things, this just taste like regular Hen eggs, they're way bigger than you think they are, and they are messier than a homemade slime kit. There's no way in hell those things aren't making your floors sticky.

I do love how one of the three pigs is just... there. You're telling me he DOES have the money for supplies, but he just up decides to use sticks for his house?! I can't tell if he's much of a lazy slob, that much of a dumbass or that much of both.

I'm gonna be real, I have no idea what Donald thought was gonna happen. Then again, this is pretty early on in their relationship, so I'll give him a slight pass.

Dr. Hornet Mackerel in Kingdom Hearts, Thank you.

Now, can someone come in front of the class and answer why did it have to be a rectal injection. That doctor ain't right in the head.

I do love how this is drawn if I'm gonna be honest. It's probably the best layout in this whole story and it's not even in the damn comic.

Pretty solid layout of Donald dashing down the basement stairs. Also, the idea of Donald in a straitjacket is funny to me lol.

See, Donald, this is EXACTLY why you can't always trust that mouse! He made his magic tricks look super easy to perform at home.

When I first saw this before translating it, I honestly thought they were standing in a river of water... now it just looks like a rough Ren & Stimpy parody storyboard lol

Wait, Hold up! Did the truck driver just... leave his truck behind? don... don't you have like... other things to carry out or something?

I'm not even gonna question how those even came OUT of him. Also, Donald, you do know that all of that money you got from Scrooge is just gonna go straight to the truck driver who's still waiting for you to pay him. I have no idea why the boys thought this was a good plan in the first place. Also, you kids are damn lucky he can actually pay him back and he got rid of the eggs easily, cause otherwise, Donald 100% would've beaten your asses with a metal switch. Also again, Mr. hornet doctor thing; that is not tongs, that's a magnet.... you're an idiot...